Holding On
by SmokeyTV
Summary: Catherine and Nick search for comfort after Warrick's death.


**This is the second installment from the Nick Fic Song Challenge on TalkCSI. The challenge this time was the song, "When the Body Speaks", by Depeche Mode. Word limit of 2,000. :-)**

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Holding On

"You might as well give in."

For weeks now Nick had been trying to persuade Catherine to go out with him on their nights off. Finally, she could no longer stand to hear how it "would be good for her" and how she "needed to get out of the house".

"Just for a little while," he said with a smile.

Catherine sighed and replied, "Okay…okay…you got me. Let's do it." She grabbed her purse and he held the door open for her as they left the lab.

It had been just over two months since they had lost their friend. Nick had spent that time focusing on work, going home, and sleeping…that is, when sleep would come. He suspected that Catherine had been doing the same thing, judging from the tired look she wore most of the time. He knew she was trying to find some way of moving on…of dealing with the loss…and so was he. At first he felt like it was something he could handle on his own…something he _should_ handle on his own. After all, that strategy had been working for him with everything else in his life, hadn't it?

But as the weeks wore on and Nick saw that Catherine was not handling it well either, he thought that maybe together they could figure it out. If nothing else they could at least have one night where they didn't feel alone in their sadness. And that's what he hoped would become of this night when they both got an early night off.

It wasn't a fancy night out, or an expensive one, or an elaborate one full of activity. They simply had a nice dinner and better conversation, sharing a few good memories of their friend and a laugh or two. After dinner, they took a walk through a park near the restaurant, far from the lights and action of the Strip. Relaxing evening or not, Catherine was still ready to go home after just a few hours, so Nick drove her home, then walked her to the door.

"I'm sorry, Nick," she said, looking at him from her front steps. "It's just hard to break out of the routine, you know?"

"Yeah," he replied, nodding. "I do." He looked at her and smiled. "I had a good time though. Thanks for going."

She smiled back. "I did too. Thanks for making me go."

They laughed and then stood silent in the darkness for a moment before she added, "Do you want to come in for a bit? I mean, it's still early…at least for us grave shift workers."

Nick looked interested, but a bit dubious. "Aw, I don't know. I don't want to wake up Lindsey."

"She's away for the weekend with some friends. C'mon." She turned and unlocked the door, entering the house and turning the lights on, then holding the door open as Nick followed her inside. He sat on the couch as she went to the kitchen, coming back with two glasses of wine. She sat on the other end of the couch and picked up the TV remote, flipping through the channels until she final settled on a movie that looked halfway entertaining.

Nick sipped his wine and looked at her as she watched the television. Even in this late hour, she looked less tense and more relaxed than she had in a long time. A few minutes later she pulled her legs up onto the couch and turned a little to the side to lay her head back against the cushions.

"Here," Nick said, reaching his arm out to her. "C'mere."

Catherine scooted over, moving under his arm as it folded around her, and leaned against him, her head resting against his chest. She kept her eyes on the TV, but the picture became blurry as her eyes welled up. God, it had been so long since she had felt the touch of a man…so long since she felt like she could just let go and let someone else do the thinking, the caring, the talking, the everything. And it felt so good to let it go and just _be_ for once. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"No problem. I make a great pillow."

She lifted her head up to look at him. "I mean for tonight. For everything." She laid her head back down and snuggled closer as he smiled and wrapped both arms around her, squeezing her tightly.

"You deserve it," he said. "Feel better?"

"Yeah." She sighed contentedly.

The tears threatened once again to fall from her eyes as she thought about her life and what she had made of it. She was proud of her career and proud of her daughter. She didn't want for anything. Except…_to the soul's desires, the body listens, what the flesh requires, keeps the heart imprisoned_…it was the human condition…the desire to be touched and held and loved…physically loved. _What the spirit seeks, the mind will follow, when the body speaks, all else is hollow. _ Without it, the soul withers away, and the body follows.

Catherine's eyes were no longer on the TV screen, although she knew Nick's were by the way he was laughing at that "sorry excuse for a Texan" and his feeble attempts to get a girl.

"Geeze! That guy! Why do they put him in these movies like he's God's gift to women?" Nick laughed. "He doesn't turn _you_ on, does he, Cath?"

"No…not really," she answered as she looked at her hand resting on his thigh. She began to pick at a thread that had frayed on his jeans. They weren't the dark, stiff, thick kind. She laid her hand back down and began rubbing up and down his leg. No, he was wearing soft, faded blue, worn out denim. She swore she could almost feel his skin through them.

As her hand began moving, she could sense that she had his attention.

"Cath?"

"Hmmm?" she answered. The hand that she had tucked under her face began to wander as well, making its way across his soft, white t-shirt. She could feel each ridge of his solid abdominal muscles through the fabric. Her hand slid upward, gliding smoothly over his chest and feeling his nipples through the smooth material.

"Cath?!" He sat up a little straighter on the couch, slightly alarmed and considerably confused.

Catherine lifted her head and looked up at him. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just…" She moved her hand up to the back of his neck, kneading it and then moving her fingers up into his short, thick hair. Her other hand continued to drift over his chest as she shifted her body upward, laying her head against his shoulder and sighing as she pressed her face into the crook of his neck. She inhaled deeply, relishing in the aroma of his cologne which mixed deliciously with his own musky scent.

Nick sat perplexed as Catherine nestled against him. She now had one arm wrapped around his waist, holding tightly to him. He watched as her hand moved again, this time heading south over his stomach, the tips of her fingers sliding just under the waistband of his jeans. He gasped and felt a stirring inside of him that he hadn't felt in a long time. He should stop her now. He should.

Catherine was feeling extremely comfortable in her position. It felt right to her…natural and not the least bit awkward. She wondered what Nick was feeling…if she should stop or not. But as her fingers tucked under his waistband, she was rewarded with the answer as his soft, thin, worn out blue jeans failed to hide his reaction. She smiled and hooked her fingers around the bottom of his tucked in t-shirt and pulled it up his torso. She shuddered a bit as she touched the smooth, firm flesh underneath it for the first time. Nick was shifting a little in his seat, his chest rising and falling rapidly from his increased breathing, but he was silent until her next move made him utter a small, restrained moan. Her fingers had begun a journey along the crease that ran at an angle from his hip downward. The "money line", Lindsey and her friends called it. Catherine laughed a little to herself as she followed it, back into his jeans and under the waistband of his briefs. She could feel the indentation and knew where it ultimately led, but she went no farther. She wanted to…God knows she wanted to keep going and just give in to everything she was feeling. But that was her body speaking. Her mind knew that giving in to one night of passionate sex with a good friend, no matter how lonely they both were, was only a temporary fix to the emptiness they sought to fill.

When Nick felt Catherine's hand stop moving, he sighed…but from relief or frustration? He wasn't sure. She now had both arms wrapped around him and was breathing deeply and rhythmically, as if she were sleeping. He put both of his arms around her and held her tightly. "Hey…Cath?" he asked, his eyes back on the television, the screen blurring for him this time.

"Hmmmm?" she sighed in response.

"You loved him…didn't you?"

She pulled him tighter against her. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah. I did."


End file.
